available moves

by | Jul 31, 2023 | blog

If you’ve read any of my posts or met me in person, you know I struggle with fear. I believe the Bible when it says “do not be afraid” 365 times, but I’m the reason God had to repeat it over and over.

One day I was playing mahjong on my phone. Okay, I was hiding in the bathroom because my mostly-grown kids were asking me for all the things (like second lunch) that they’re capable of handling on their own. Don’t judge me; summer break is getting kinda long. In the middle of the game, the counter on the side of the screen said “8 moves available.” I removed two tiles, which is a single move, and the counter went down to “5 moves available.” How? I’m not a mathematician, but I don’t understand how I could have messed that up. So then I was afraid to remove any other tiles for fear I’d lose the game. It sounds ridiculous, but fear makes us stall out all the time.

Yesterday I read a stranger’s social media post about being terrified to hang out with friends in our post-pandemic-scarred society. I’m not debating the validity of those fears. Nor am I dismissing them. Fears are born from real things, and they’re understandable, even helpful on occasion.

I am terrified for all motorcycle riders and with good reason. My firstborn was protected by the very hand of God in a motorcycle accident several weeks ago. I’m beyond thankful that he has decided his riding days are behind him as a result of that incident. Good fear? Maybe. So how do we discern when fear is protecting us versus when it’s holding us hostage? I still struggle with this. I know it’s bad to let fear control you. If we allow ourselves to be crippled by fear, it automatically wins, and we lose. I also know it’s good listen when fear is pulling you out of harm’s way. See above motorcycle example. Maybe I’ll always struggle with fear, but I know I won’t be afraid to give it over to God as many times as needed, which is easily 365 times a week.